Why You Don’t Need to Be Chosen

My dear friends,

We all know how good it feels to be chosen by the right opportunities, investors, partners, friends, and communities.

We are naturally and neurologically hardwired to seek safety and survival and many of us associate this with being chosen, which can bring our nervous systems much-needed temporary relief through a sense of acceptance, belonging, and validation of our worth.

The problem with this programming is that if we are not aware of the dynamics at play, it can keep us in survival mode as we continuously seek opportunities to be chosen, accepted, and validated. It can create a situation where we develop long-standing habits of abandoning ourselves and conforming for the sake of being chosen and accepted, until we forget who we truly are beneath it all.

For women in particular, society has a constant stream of unattainable standards and moving goalposts, which keep us sprinting on a never-ending treadmill just to feel that we are enough. But instead, we end up drained, depleted, and too burned out to challenge and change the social and economic systems that profit from our labor, depletion, and conformity.

As long as we fall into this programming and seek to be chosen externally, we will not know true safety and our minds, bodies, and nervous systems will stay in survival mode. This can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health, not to mention, whatever we pursue will be from a place of fear and lack, which will further reinforce the same fears and lack.

To truly thrive and move through the world with deep peace and security, you need to remember that you have already been chosen.

Think about it: Despite all odds, and the many generations it took to birth you, you have been chosen to be alive at this point in history. And in the over 8 billion human beings that exist today, there is truly no one else in the world like you. You have specifically been created to be here because it is your unique presence, smile, voice, creativity, joy, gifts, and talents that the world needs right now.

As long as you have breath flowing through you, you have been chosen to be alive, simply for being you.

Once you really sit with this and truly understand the preciousness of who you are, that the same creative force that created the sun, the moon, the galaxies, and the stars, also deemed it necessary to create you, you’ll realize how truly chosen you are.

Over this next month, until our next letter, I invite you to take a few moments each day to remind yourself and let your body absorb this:

“I am chosen. I do not need the world to choose me. I am already chosen because I am chosen to be alive in this moment in time. I am chosen to breathe, because my presence is what the world needs right now. I am chosen to love because my love is what the world needs right now. I am chosen to create because my creativity is what the world needs right now. I am chosen to be alive because my aliveness fulfills a purpose that only I can fulfill. I am chosen because I choose me and I choose to trust the wisdom of the power that created me and flows through me.”

This affirmation is drawn from The Womenifesto, which includes a collection of eleven essential reminders for women that I published last year. You are welcome to read them all here.

As you remind yourself (and your nervous system) of how truly chosen you are, also start practicing choosing yourself in the present moment and allowing yourself to be here, right now, where you were created to be.

It is from here, and from the fullness, peace, and safety you feel internally, that you give yourself the power to do the choosing – choosing only the activities, opportunities, workplaces, partnerships, and relationships that support your wellbeing and thriving.

It is with these choices and your own aligned choosing that you can fully share your unique gifts, light, and leadership with the world, doing so with greater ease and joy than ever before.

So instead of worrying about the future or regretting anything in the past, practice forgiving yourself and entrusting your future to the same creative force that chose you to be alive right now.

Instead of reaching for your phone to scroll when you need a break, practice choosing to be with yourself: take a breath and ask yourself (and your body) what you really need to feel nourished and rested.

Instead of draining yourself by chasing people and opportunities that don’t see or value you, practice choosing your peace, pouring your energy back into yourself, and trusting that you will be guided to the right people and opportunities in the perfect time.

You are chosen to be here.

Here is all you need to be.

And choosing to be here is all you need to do.

May you always remember how chosen and precious you are,

May you continue to choose the present moment for yourself,

And may you truly thrive.

With love,

Maliheh

Breaking Open to Break Free

My dear friends,

We are all born with a unique purpose.

This purpose allows for us to share our gifts, talents, and light with the world and to do it with joy.

But so many of us get thrown into the storms of survival and practicality that we lose touch with ourselves and the hidden gems we were born to share.

I had a call with a trailblazing woman recently who, even after all of her amazing accomplishments, still feels like she hasn’t found what she was born to be doing in the world.

From the outside, she has it all: the beautiful home, family, and successful career.

But on the inside, she can feel that something is missing.

What is missing is her ability to access her real creativity and joy.

Everything she has built so far has been out of survival, checking boxes, and hitting milestones set by society.

None of it has actually been coming through a deep connection with herself and her joy.

It is not that her current life is wrong or bad in any way. It simply doesn’t capture the fullness of her radiance and all that she is and longs to be.

I know that many women share her struggle. They were taught to be “good,” to follow the rules, to be of service to everyone around them, and to climb the professional ladder and do it while also looking good, not stepping on toes, and smiling. They were programmed to see their worth in pleasing, performing, and achieving.

All the while, they were not given the space, opportunity, or guidance to connect with who they truly are and to uncover or perhaps remember the unique purpose they were born with: sharing the gems that are waiting to burst out of them and into the world.

There was a time when in some parts of the world, people would bury their daughters alive. I believe that society is still doing that, just in a different way. A way that keeps women alive enough to serve, but to never fully experience their own aliveness to thrive.

Our distance from our purpose often shows up in our bodies and lives as health conditions, recurring injuries, chronic pain, inflammation, hitting walls, repeating frustrating patterns, anxiety, and depression.

None of this is punishment, but rather life’s attempts to ready and redirect us to realign with our real purpose, joy, and thriving.

While they can help temporarily relieve the symptoms, the real answer isn’t found in medication, spa treatments, more self-care, or relaxing vacations.

The answer is sitting with the not knowing of who we truly are underneath all the roles society has us play.

The answer is in remembering our worth and that we are already enough, just as we are.

The answer is in freeing ourselves of our attachments to titles, jobs, positions, labels, and identities – they only limit what is possible to come through us.

The answer is in allowing ourselves to slow down and truly feel even the smallest joys and delights in our bodies (e.g. your child’s laughter, the first sip of your coffee, the feel of your favorite blouse on your skin) so that neurologically, our deepest joys and desires can slowly be accessed and emerge.

The answer is in coming together, holding each other, and letting ourselves play, explore, and discover the radiance that we were born to feel and share.

And underneath all of this, there is a deep collective grief and sadness for all the unlived lives and unfelt joys. We need to allow the grief to move through us so we can finally open ourselves to our aliveness and joy.

Grief is often the gateway to gold. So do not fear it if it comes up. Allow it to crack you open so that you can start to see all the beauty and power that is hidden inside.

May you find the courage to let yourself break open,

May you discover the gems that are meant to shine through you,

And may you truly thrive.

With love,

Maliheh

Why Women Struggle to Receive (And No, It Is Not Their Fault)

My dear friends,

A theme that has been coming up in my conversations and work lately is the fact that so many women struggle to receive, whether this has to do with receiving money, opportunities, help, support, love, gifts, compliments, or even rest, food, and proper nourishment.

Sadly, we are typically quick to place the burden on women to “fix” this within themselves.

And yes, while there are strategies and practices that we can employ to improve on this, I would argue that the main issue isn’t with women struggling to receive, but with how society is programmed to take from women.

When women are expected to give so much of themselves just to receive some acknowledgment, appreciation, opportunities, or support, of course they will struggle with receiving.

Receiving can feel like just another setup for more taxing mental, emotional, or physical labor.

When women are expected to center everyone else’s comfort and convenience and not their own wellbeing and thriving, of course women will struggle to receive.

Receiving feels selfish, as though a woman is taking from or even betraying others she cares about.

When women are used to being met with disappointment, judgment, social sanctions, anger, or even rage and violence, when they choose to say “no” and to not constantly give, of course they would struggle with giving less and receiving more.

Receiving feels scary and dangerous.

When women are used to their receiving being tied to manipulation, control, exploitation, and more expectations, of course they would struggle with receiving.

Receiving feels unsafe.

The problem isn’t with women not knowing how to receive. The problem is how society feels entitled to take from women.

The problem is how society values and glorifies women who are over-givers and martyrs and demonizes women who have boundaries and choose to give in a more healthy and balanced way.

The problem is how society doesn’t know how to give freely to women without strings, conditions, judgements, or expectations attached.

The problem is how society doesn’t truly value women’s health, safety, freedom, and joy.

Again, the problem isn’t with women not knowing how to receive. The problem is that society has not made it safe for them to do so.

Yes, women need to do some healing in order to allow themselves to receive more, but this is quite difficult when we live in a world that doesn’t support this healing and tries to extract from women at every turn.

Women struggle to receive when they, whether consciously or unconsciously, are protecting themselves. Protecting themselves from either the internal pressures, judgement, guilt, and shame, or the external judgments, expectations, and demands.

Sadly, the most heartbreaking part of all of this is that it is often fellow women who are judging and shaming one another the most.

Because deep down, we long to receive freely and with joy, and when another woman does so unapologetically, it triggers our own wounds.

We gang up on her, instead of ganging up on the collective trauma many of us have inherited.

Show me a woman who feels truly safe in her body, mind, and society, and is deeply at peace with herself, and I’ll show you a woman who can enjoy receiving. She also joyfully celebrates when other women receive as well.

Unfortunately, these women are not the majority. They were either extremely lucky in their life experiences or have had to walk through fire after fire of burning away layer after layer of societal conditioning from their minds and nervous systems.

Why should it take extreme luck or walking through fires for women to feel safe to receive?

Why shouldn’t we create a world where we make it possible for women to receive with safety and joy?

I gently pose these questions to all of us this month. If you feel called, you are welcome to write back and share what comes up for you. I am here to listen and would love to receive your experiences and reflections.

And if you are a woman who struggles to receive, I send you so much love. Please be assured that you are not alone. And while it is going to take us a minute to upgrade society, here are some things you can begin doing today to create positive shifts in your experience:

Start practicing with receiving from yourself: your own presence, your own kindness, your own care, and your own appreciation.

Start giving to yourself, even if all you can manage now is five minutes in the morning to sit with your breath, give yourself a hug, and write down just one thing you appreciate about yourself — you might find The GOLD Journal a gentle place to begin.

This all might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, you’ll see how thirsty you are to receive more. Quench that thirst with self-compassion and giving to yourself as often as you can.

You are worthy of receiving freely and joyfully. And the more women understand, expect, and allow this, the more society will be pushed to catch up too.

So here is to more women receiving with joy and celebrating when others do the same,

And here is to more women receiving and thriving – including you,

With love,

Maliheh

Finding Peace When the World Is On Fire

My dear friends,

We are living in deeply painful and uncertain times, which is why staying fully present and anchored in our inner knowing is more important than ever.

As an Iranian American, who also happens to currently be based in Qatar, I am sure you can imagine how gut wrenching the events of the past weeks have been for my family and I.

Hearing the explosions from missiles being intercepted over Doha is also not an experience that I would ever wish on anyone.

Yet, through it all, my heart managed to remain calm. While I allowed the heavy waves of grief to move through, especially as I helplessly watched my family in Iran dodging missiles and sizzling in the hot pan of war, deep down, I had a knowing that they were being taken care of.

And through it all, I was able to stay anchored and trust my inner guidance, even as my phone was bombarded every single day with calls and texts from loved ones urging me to evacuate and leave the region.

This was not about my ego or my attachments to certain outcomes. In fact, a part of me really wanted to wake up and be back home with my family in Maryland.

But when I quieted my mind and listened more closely, I knew that I was brought here to specifically be in the region at this point in time, even if there was a war going on next door and overhead.

I knew that I was brought here to hold and elevate the next generation of women trailblazers in the Middle East so they can rise despite any and all instability (you can learn more about my work here).

And I knew that the same force that guided me out of the US, walked me through numerous transitions in multiple countries, to then land me here, was also keeping me and my path safe.

This clarity and peace that I felt internally, also helped soothe and bring peace to my family who were, understandably, in crisis mode.

I am sharing all of this with you in the hopes that you’ll always remember:

Even when the world is on fire all around you, the answers are still within you.

No matter what your external circumstances look like, there is a loving internal guidance system that is always on standby, ready to direct you to a path of safety, peace, and thriving.

You may not receive the whole plan right away, but all you need to keep moving forward in alignment is the next small step directly in front of you.

Each step will build on the last, and before you know it, you may find yourself blooming and building gardens in places where fires once burned.

While I pray for peace all around the world, I know it all starts from each and every one of us developing the capacity to go inward and find peace even in the midst of deep pain, fear, and chaos.

Otherwise, we’ll continue to fan the flames of hatred and war, push others into the line of fire, or even get ourselves engulfed in it without realizing.

So may we all cultivate peace in hearts and minds,

May you always remember to turn inward in our loud chaotic world,

And may you continue to thrive,

With love,

Maliheh

The Sun Does Not Rise, We Must Rise to Meet the Sun

Dear Trailblazing Women,

On the journey to becoming the women who can hold and yield power with integrity, honor, and a firm commitment to serving humanity, we must learn how to receive and manage our own power.

Unfortunately, many women are blind to the power that they possess.

It is not their fault. Society is designed to distract and deplete us until we have no energy or focus left to turn within and remember how truly powerful we are.

In our endless efforts to meet the always moving societal goalposts for our enoughness and acceptance, we repeatedly lose ourselves. And that is by design.

A woman who knows herself and her power is considered “difficult” and “selfish” in our world.

While she cares deeply about others and serves with love, her life wouldn’t be centered around ensuring everyone else’s comfort and convenience.

She has boundaries. She has clarity. She has unshakable confidence in her vision and her mission. She has a voice that is kind, yet firm and clear. She does not shrink herself to please or appease.

She is wise, discerning, and sovereign.

This would make her “difficult” to manipulate and control. Our world does not like these women very much because it challenges it to grow and evolve in ways that it is not yet ready to do so.

But this is all about to change.

In the aftermath of Covid and now with the AI revolution, the old profit-centric extractive systems are leaving too many human beings neglected and out in the cold.

As this trend progresses, these systems will not be able to hold the burden of inequality that is being created.

The dam will eventually break, and a new paradigm shift will have to be introduced to reimagine and redefine how we live, work, and lead as human beings.

When this happens, women trailblazers who have had to navigate the heaviness of these biased extractive systems for far too long will be primed and ready to lead at the forefront with compassion, clarity, and vision.

And this is why we gather here. This is what these letters are for: to nourish you, to remind you of your power, and to fuel the path ahead.

I call on every person who reads this letter to share and forward it to every woman they know.

Because my friends, we are not just here for feel-good nourishment, inspiration, and reflections. We are here preparing for the transformative and historic times ahead.

The sun does not rise over the horizon.

We are the ones who move and shift until we can meet the sun.

We are the mothers who must prepare our wombs, so that when the time comes, we can meet the opportunity and birth a new world that supports the thriving of every human being.

We are the women who will rise to spread light and yield our power, to build a brighter and more expansive world for all.

I hope you’ll join me here.

With love,

Maliheh

Trusting the “In-Between”

Dear friends,

As you know, every journey toward a goal typically has a beginning, a middle, and an ending. The beginning is usually ripe with motivation, hope, and clarity.

The ending can be accompanied by a sense of joy and accomplishment and at times, even relief and grief, depending on the journey and the situation.

But the middle. Oh, the middle, or what I call the “in-between”, can be quite messy, long, and full of unexpected lessons and surprises.

The in-between is usually when most people lose their way and give up on their vision and dreams. They rush back to the comforts of what they once knew, even if it no longer fits, even if it keeps them small and limited. They hold on tightly to the old and familiar, choosing to suffer in stagnation than to walk through the unpaved path of the in-between.

But the in-between is where the magic happens.

It is in the in-between that we build our capacity to welcome and hold the new. It is where the pressure builds to force us to release what does not belong in the next chapter of our becoming. We must shed old identities, beliefs, habits, fears, and sometimes even people, places, and jobs to make space for the vision we hold.

It is in the in-between that we get molded into the version of us that can hold that end goal we so long for.

Think of a baby in their mother’s womb. No matter how much it longs to be out in the world and experience all the lights and delights, it cannot rush the process – it must not if it wants to be healthy and thriving. It goes through phases of looking like a bean and evolving slowly into a being that can come out of the womb, ready to breathe on its own and take in all that the world has to offer.

The same is true whenever we go through any growth transition. We simply cannot rush to get to the ending, because if we get there too early, we may not be able to hold it. In fact, we may fumble and destroy it with the very hands that fought so hard to achieve it.

In a world obsessed with speed, many of us get to the “end” prematurely. That is why we burnout, shut down, lose our way, or get discouraged. But if we give ourselves the grace and gifts of the in-between, we arrive grounded, nourished, and ready to blaze new trails.

The in-between is required by design.

Nature gave us the template for growth the moment we were conceived into existence. It asked us to be patient for nine months, to sit in the dark, to be in isolation, to focus on our own growth, and to trust that we will be provided for every step of the way. This is the place where usually no else but us can see our vision and what we are moving toward.

Then, eventually the womb becomes too small. We need more love, space, and resources but cannot fathom where it can possibly come from, just like a baby cannot imagine what could be waiting for it when it is born. All it knows is darkness and some muffled sounds from the outside world.

Then, when it has grown enough and is ready to handle the love that is waiting for it on the other side, the contractions start. Now, things are getting even more uncomfortable in there!

It can’t see that the contractions are opening the doorway into a whole new world—a world waiting to love it with open arms and hearts full of love. From the baby’s perspective, these contractions probably feel like torture. This is where we also might find our best laid plans being derailed or obstructed after coming so far.

This phase of the in-between is when most people do whatever they can to escape from and bypass, only to go around in circles repeating the same pattern over and over again. Some even make it near the end and by the second contraction, think they must have done something wrong and give up.

Trusting the in-between requires trusting yourself and your capacity to handle all the discomfort that birthing a new idea, a new venture, a new goal, a new life, or a new you requires.

That’s what makes you a trailblazer. Because you trust the in-between. You hold yourself with love and care, even when everything looks dark and you are deep in the womb, alone and unsure of your next step.

But like fetuses, our thriving as trailblazers depends on our ability and willingness to adapt and grow.

And growth cannot happen without the in-between. It is not a delay. It is not punishment. It is preparation so that when you make it to the other side, you can fully exhale, take it all in, and continue building.

The best strategy I know for getting through the most painful edges of the in-between is surrendering to what is happening and approaching it with curiosity.

A guiding question to remember is: How is this happening for me?

This question anchors us in love. It anchors us in the love that took care of us while we were in our mother’s womb. That same love is present and hard at work in whatever womb and gestation period we are in now, whether that be entrepreneurship, leadership, parenthood, or any other transition.

It anchors us in the knowing that we are not in this alone—that a force much greater than ourselves is always loving and guiding us to wherever we are meant to go.

Our job is to be present and curious even in the midst of the contractions, even in the midst of the pain—to feel it all, to surrender to it all, and be brave enough to let it transform us.

Our job is to trust the wisdom of the in-between.

In a world filled with distractions and ploys for our attention, this can lead to a lot of avoidance, delays, and unnecessary detours. Please guard your attention and energy as if your life depended on it, because it does.

The gifts that you alone are here to offer require your presence and engagement in the in-between.

Stay the course.

Breathe through the contractions.

And remember that you are so deeply held and loved, every step of the way.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

The Gift of Unconditional Love

Dear friends,

Over the past month, I’ve had to say goodbye to my incredible grandmother, the woman who taught me the meaning of unconditional love.

As I have been riding the waves of grief, I have also been overcome by deep gratitude for having had the privilege of experiencing her love. You see, she wasn’t just a doting grandmother—"Mamanbozorg," as we affectionately called her, was truly special.

She experienced painful betrayals at a very young age, which made her different, mentally and emotionally. Given what she had been through, she was extremely distrusting of people, especially of outsiders, which led her to keep to herself and her home for decades.

But when she saw any of her children or grandchildren, her fears melted away and she overflowed with love, as if she suddenly had no other care in the world.

She never adjusted her love and affection based on how well we performed, how much we achieved, how we looked, how often we called or visited, or if we did anything for her—all that mattered to her was that we were there and safe from harm.

Her love came with zero conditions and zero expectations. Her special mind made it so that she took pure delight in our mere existence just as we were in that moment, and nothing else mattered to her.

From the second that she would lay her eyes on us, she would immediately go into admiring, adoring, and showering us with the sweetest words you couldn’t even imagine. There was never any hint of criticism, judgement, shame, or guilt.

She was highly intelligent and very observant but never made you feel bad about yourself.

Her love was the purest there was, which sometimes made it hard for us to receive because it was so different from what we experienced out in the world. But when you were alone with her, she made you feel like you were God’s gift walking on earth.

I remember visiting Iran one summer in my early twenties when I was struggling with a really awful bout of acne. Literally everyone who saw me immediately commented on it, making me feel incredibly self-conscious.

But the moment Mamanbozorg saw me at her door, she greeted me with her usual enthusiasm and unmatched sweetness: “Mamanom! Soorat gerd-e ghashangom! Maliheh khanoomom oomade!”—”My darling! My round-faced beauty! My Maliheh is here!”

Once we exchanged hugs and kisses and I walked in, she said she wanted to bring me something refreshing to help me recover from being out in the Shiraz heat. She went into her kitchen and started up her juicer.

A few minutes later, she was holding a tall glass of green juice. She said it included her special prayers to nourish my health and beauty. I felt so safe and loved that I was the one who brought up the acne and shared with her what a struggle it had been.

Like always, I was met with her compassion and understanding and the knowing that she saw who I truly was—behind the marks on my face, behind the fancy accomplishments, and behind the roles and identities defined by society.

A love like hers truly heals. It gives us the foundation from which we can thrive and I believe that it is possible for all of us to experience.

And it starts with giving this love to ourselves.

As we begin to be kind to ourselves and focus on affectionately and wholeheartedly accepting and loving ourselves, something powerful shifts. We start demonstrating that we believe we are worthy of unconditional love and soften into receiving more of this love from others and from life itself.

Suddenly, we start to notice life being kinder to us and discover safe spaces and people with whom we can flourish.

We become more present and available for more blessings and opportunities as we no longer need to escape the inner criticism, judgement, and shame.

And before we know it, our whole life is revolving around giving and receiving love in the most authentic way–shaping how we love, parent, create, and lead.

So what if you started looking at yourself with my Mamanbozorg’s eyes?

What if you framed all of those perceived “flaws” as the exact things that make you beautiful and inspire your growth?

What if you believed that you were enough and worthy of love just because you exist?

What if you took delight in simply being?

What if you saw yourself as God’s gift walking on earth?

If you notice any resistance to these questions, I invite you to lean into it and get curious. What parts of you believe that you are not worthy of this kind of love? And why? What are these parts afraid of and what do they need?

Are they afraid that you’ll just turn into a lazy bum and never accomplish anything?

Afraid that you’ll never improve or work on your “flaws”?

Afraid that you’ll become an arrogant narcissist and stop caring about others?

Afraid that you’ll outgrow your current circumstances and the people around you and will have to face loss?

Something else?

Whatever they are, sit with them and hold them, and gently explore and negotiate with them until you get to a place of understanding and alignment.

Know that loving yourself in this way is not self-indulgent or selfish—it is self-nourishment and protection. Authentic self-love and self-compassion create the internal safety we all need to power our growth, become courageous enough to live and lead authentically, and blaze new trails.

A love like this frees you. It helps you shed anything that is holding you back from the truth of who you are and from thriving as a human being and as a trailblazer that is here to pave new paths and create lasting impact.

In my last conversation with her, Mamanbozorg told me to not mourn when she is gone as “Mamanom, khoone beheshtimo amade kardan”—“My darling, my home in heaven has been prepared for me“. While I am trying my best to honor her wishes, the emotional grief is definitely real and not something that is healthy to suppress or bypass.

I continue to honor her by sharing who she was and her incredible capacity to love, by loving myself the way that she loved me, and by letting this love overflow and spread through anything that I create and anyone that I meet and work with.

This month, I invite you to help me honor her memory by borrowing my Mamanbozorg’s eyes.

See yourself with her tenderness and sweetness. Fill yourself with unconditional gentleness, acceptance, and appreciation like you have never done before.

Breathe it in and feel it settle into your heart and body. Know that you are enough and worthy of your own love—just as you are in this moment.

Make it a daily practice to nourish this love within you, especially on the days that you make a mistake or are feeling unsure about the path ahead.

Let compassion and gentleness ease your fears, calm your doubts, fuel your heart, and build your confidence as you step into the love that you are meant to be and align with all that is meant for you.

May you gift yourself with my Mamanbozorg’s eyes and unconditional love.

May it fill you up and propel you forward every single day.

And may you continue to thrive.

Mamanbozorg, I hope you are dancing in your new home in heaven. I love you and will always miss you!

All my love,

Maliheh

The Power of Perspective Shifts

Dear friends,

Have you ever thought about how miraculous a shift in perspective can be?

We spend years attached to one way of thinking about a challenge, opportunity, person, or place, then suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, we have an experience or insight that completely changes how we see the same “reality”.

The external reality may not change in the slightest, but once our perspective changes, how we feel, move, relate, and behave changes. And before long, that reality will never look the same – we overcome the challenge, reconsider the opportunity, shift our relationships, or let go of places.

When most of us think of miraculous experiences, we typically imagine major extraordinary occurrences that cause shock and awe. For example, a terminally ill patient being cured out of the blue or a person walking away from an extreme car collision without a scratch.

Many of us also recognize that there are miracles happening all around us and in the small moments of life. Even the fact that you are effortlessly breathing, reading, and seeing these words can be considered miraculous.

But we often forget that the most powerful miraculous experiences do not happen to us or around us, but through us.

When we change our perspective, we change, and before long, our reality changes along with us. In fact, I believe that A Course of Miracles defines a miracle as “a shift in perspective” for this reason. We have the capacity to be living miraculously – every single day!

By regularly taking the time to slow down and being present with ourselves, we create the fertile ground for miracles to happen. It is in this space that we can examine our thought patterns, stories, and internal blocks, identifying areas where perspective shifts are needed.

We may not always receive the shifts right away, however. This in-between space will sometimes require us to surrender our old ways of being and thinking without knowing what to replace them with. It can feel incredibly uncomfortable and unsettling to be in this void.

That’s how we know we have met a new edge–the edge of new perspectives, new growth, and new miracles that are about to unfold through us. This is when our deepest presence and attention is needed the most, so we can be receptive to the fresh perspectives that are coming in and piece by piece, create our new reality.

Unfortunately, in this digital age filled with apps, notifications, and distractions, and with all the competing demands on our time, most of us never get this far—missing out on incredible opportunities for major shifts and miracles every single day.

When I flew out of Los Angeles back in 2023, I thought I was taking a vacation and would be back within a few weeks. I didn’t expect the countless perspective shifts that would be on their way, miraculously changing the trajectory of my life forever.

Six countries and fifteen cities later, never in my wildest dreams could I have envisioned such an unexpected and incredible journey. I’ve visited places that I had never heard of, had experiences I didn’t know I needed, and met complete strangers who have nourished my spirit.

But for the life of me, I can’t identify one major miraculous event that sparked this adventure of a lifetime. There have been a series of miraculous moments where I noticed myself facing a block and needing to shift my perspective. Countless times, nearly on a daily basis, I didn’t know what my next steps would be, where I would be going, or how my next step could even be possible.

The only way I’ve been able to meet edge after edge, and experience miracle after miracle has been by fiercely protecting my attention and focus and even disappearing from social media. I had always been mindful, but this experience has required a whole different level of mental discipline. I’ve needed to stay fully present, breathe through the uncertainty, and meet the edges and perspective shifts to fully experience the awe and miraculous moment-to-moment opening and unfolding of it all.

This life-changing experience has shown me how truly miraculous life can be—if we are present enough to allow for it. Now, your journey may not look like mine—it may not involve travel or stepping away from everything and everyone that was ever familiar to you to this extent. But these moments of transformation and perspective shifts come for all of us, in different ways. The key is being present enough to recognize them when they arrive.

But maybe the reason many of us easily fall into distracting, busying, and over committing ourselves is because a part of us doesn’t want to allow enough presence for perspective shifts and miracles to occur. Maybe a part of us isn’t fully ready and is scared of what those shifts could mean—for our careers, organizations, relationships, and lives—and the changes they would bring about, and who we would need to become, even if, in the long run, they would ultimately be good for us.

Receiving miracles every day sounds lovely and amazing, but it can also be terrifying and disruptive, especially for our nervous systems that are wired to seek safety in the familiar - even if the familiar is struggle, pain, and stuckness.

To make miracles a regular part of our lives, to experience the natural miraculous and unpredictable flow of life with ease, we must be prepared to live in the unknown and walk through it bravely.

Over this next month, I invite you to gently notice wherever you face a block or moment of frustration, anxiety, or uncertainty. Notice how you immediately cope with it. Do you reach outward for answers? Do you run from it? Do you shut down? Or do you drop into the moment and curiously go inward?

Challenge yourself to choose the latter and lean into it. As uncomfortable as it may feel, know that you are on the cusp of a perspective shift and receiving a miracle.

Allow yourself to gently meet this experience with presence, curiosity, and compassion. Practice breathing and even relaxing in this space, surrendering the need to figure it out with your mind, and opening yourself up to the possibility of a new insight and perspective on this situation.

You may even be invited to lovingly meet the parts of you that get scared, want to cling to the illusion of certainty, and want to run from this space and the incoming breakthrough.

Be with it all and trust that this is exactly where you need to be. It is all here to give you important data and teach you something about yourself and your path forward.

You were born to continuously expand your perspective and live miraculously, and now, you are allowing yourself to do so.

Once you fully surrender to the experience, seemingly out of nowhere, the insight and perspective shift will come and you’ll be taking actions and making what you previously thought to be impossible, possible.

May this month be the start of you welcoming more presence, more perspective shifts, and an endless stream of miracles into your life.

May you trust that each shift is leading you exactly where you are meant to be.

And may you continue to thrive!

Maliheh

Improve Your Decision-Making With One Simple Question

Dear friends,

Happy New Year! I took a short winter break and am excited to be writing to you again.

As many of you have already realized, 2025 is not kidding around. As a behavioral economist who specializes in leadership decision making, I know this year will require many of us to make crucial decisions as we navigate a lot of uncertainty and global change.

While every situation is unique, here is one guiding question that can help you when you find yourself at a crossroad (this will be especially applicable for all the super selfless, giving, and deeply loving people here):

“What is the most self-compassionate decision to make?”

Asking this question will provide a simple but transformative lens through which to reflect on your options.

Let me share a quick story of how this question helped a trailblazing leader who has been facing a defining moment in her career.

For over a decade, this individual has led with incredible vision and passion. Then, overnight, external forces—male-dominated leadership who had been threatened by her success and impact—dismantled everything that she had built. On top of that, the hostility towards her continues to escalate, determined to force her out of the organization.

Despite these crushing challenges, she feels deeply responsible for those she serves and has been determined to push forward. But her health has been paying the price. Her body has been sounding alarm bells for months now, impacting her ability to function, sleep, and even digest. She has repeatedly sought medical care to find a way to heal and cope, but continues to struggle on a daily basis.

Ultimately, after exhausting all other negotiations and options, she is faced with two choices: resist or resign.

When she shared the situation with me, I asked her, “What would be the most self-compassionate decision to make?”

Without hesitation, she answered, “Resign.” But she looked sad and believed that this would mean she was giving up.

I said to her, “Listen my dear, we are not in the business of being martyrs.

“No organization or mission is worth sacrificing your health over, especially one that has been so forcefully committed to not hearing you, not valuing your contributions, and sabotaging your efforts at every turn.

“Resigning would in no way be the end nor diminish the impact you have had throughout the years. Instead, it would be freeing SOOOO MUCH mental and emotional space and physical energy, all of which could then be channeled into creating an even greater impact than ever before.

“This could even be the beginning of an amazing new chapter for you!”

She responded by saying, “Well, if I take the selfish path,” I gently interrupted, “No, no, no! This is not the selfish path, it is the self-compassionate path!”

We both erupted into laughter as we had just experienced in real time why so few women choose self-compassion, because we subconsciously associate it with being selfish.

To clarify, selfishness is rooted in serving the ego and by nature, focused on extraction and scarcity. Self-compassion is rooted in love and by nature, expansive and abundant. The more self-compassionate you are, the more your creativity can flourish, the more you’ll have to give to others, and the greater your long-term impact will be.

She continued, “Okay, so if I take the self-compassionate path, what will happen to those that I leave behind?”

Now, would a “selfish” person ever think to ask such a question? I highly doubt it.

I said, “They are all grown adults and have their own life lessons they need to learn. You can prepare them as best as you can, but then, you need to trust them on their own journey. Maybe you leaving is part of that and it will challenge them to exercise their resilience muscles and find their own way.”

She then took a deep breath and started reflecting about what her life would look like if she did resign. Finally she said, “You know, now that I think about it, I’ve probably known for a while that I’ve outgrown this place. But I just didn’t have the heart to leave.”

“Exactly,” I said. “That is why life had to resort to pushing you out. You deserve to build with people who value and appreciate you. And you are meant for so much more!”

And just like that, exploring the self-compassionate path opened her mind to so many incredible possibilities and hope for the future.

This simple, yet powerful question—“What is the most self-compassionate decision?”—can guide us to choices that better honor our well-being and growth.

The self-compassionate path is not always easy, however, and it is by no means self-indulgent. It may require you to challenge norms, embrace uncertainty, chart new terrain, meet numerous edges of growth, and/or heal old wounds that are keeping you stuck.

It can also feel uncomfortable, even counterintuitive, to prioritize self-compassion—especially if you're used to putting others first.

But self-compassion has been shown to support individuals’ long-term growth and expand their capacity to lead, love, and thrive with greater authenticity and joy (learn more here). It is a path definitely worth reflecting on as you move through your decision making process. It may even open you up to new possibilities and solutions.

So as 2025 unfolds and you face tough decisions, may you remember to explore: “What is the self-compassionate decision to make?”

And may you thrive in ways you never imagined possible.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

On Reflections And Resolutions

Dear friends,

As the year comes to a close, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the year that has passed and resolving to make improvements in the New Year.

I want to invite you to expand on these practices in a way that sets you up for thriving with peace and joy.

Instead of focusing solely on how much you’ve achieved and produced in 2024, take some time to also appreciate how much you’ve grown and the challenges you’ve overcome. Give yourself credit for making it here and celebrate where and who you are now.

Here are three questions to guide your reflections:

• What challenges did I overcome this year, and what lesson did I take away from each?

• What are three things that I feel grateful for in my life right now and why?

• What are three things that I appreciate about myself and why?

It is also important to reflect and identify areas of growth. But instead of getting stuck on external goals and all that you want to do and achieve in the New Year, focus on how you want to BE in every moment: more self-compassionate, more present, and more aligned.

Here are three ways to create space for more being and allowing the doing to flow with greater ease:

• Practice self-compassion daily by speaking to yourself as you would to a dear friend, especially when things don’t go as planned. (You can read about the four keys to embodying self-compassion here.)

• Schedule tech-free time in your day (e.g. during meals or before bed) and consider deleting social media apps from your phone to allow yourself to be more present with life.

• Commit to pausing and quieting your mind every day and especially before making any major decisions, making sure you are being guided by love and faith, instead of lack and fear.

Resolve to show up to life with gratitude, compassion, and presence in each moment, and trust that your day, your week, and your year will transform in ways that you could never imagine.

I want to also thank you—for being here, for all that you are, for the light that you radiate into the world, and for being a part of this journey with me.

May this New Year bring you an abundance of peace, joy, and fulfillment.

And may you continue to grow, thrive, and embrace the gift of each moment, one day at a time.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh

The Art of Letting Go

Dear friends,

December is upon us and instead of leaning into the frenzy of the end of the year push, I want to invite you to lean into the art of letting go.

Let go of the expectations, let go of the pressures, let go of the artificial timelines, let go of the people-pleasing, let go of the guilt, and let go of the endless pursuit of perfection.

Give yourself permission to breathe and remember that you are enough and you are worthy of peace, ease, and joy, just as you are.

You are not defined by your productivity or how much you achieve by the end of the year.

All that matters is the quality of the peace you feel within yourself.

So deepen your peace and allow yourself to thrive by mastering the art of letting go of anything that is weighing you down and keeping you stuck.

These tend to be thoughts, expectations, worries, stories, habits, and activities that pull you away from the power you have in the present moment. Notice them as they come up and simply choose to let them go.

Letting go of these things doesn’t mean you are being selfish, careless, or irresponsible.

You can still honor your commitments and authentically show up for others while letting go of the expectation to be perfect, the attachment to outcomes, stories of the past, worries about the future, the “shoulds” and “have tos”, and anything that distracts you from the present moment - where life is truly happening.

This leads to being genuine, focused, and mindful - the opposite of being selfish, careless, and irresponsible.

So make this month the month to practice releasing, letting go, and lightening your load. It may be challenging at first and require some energy and focus, but the more you practice, the easier it will get.

Invest in letting go and deepening your presence in the here and now and may you start the next moment, the next day, and the next year lighter and more available to enjoy, create, and thrive.

With love and gratitude,

Maliheh